Friday, September 27, 2013

Pride Is Not A Dirty Word

shame (SHām) noun

1.
  a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
~~~~
Probably the number one topic that comes up when I'm talking with my recovery friends is shame.
We all know what shame feels like; I feel it physically, in my gut, like a stone in my belly.
I carried that stone with me for years, both while I was drinking and after.   Even years into my recovery journey, I feel its weight sometimes, dragging me down.

Who do you think you are, is the most common theme shame whispers to me, now.  

I looked up synonyms for shame, and this is what I found:  abashment, dishonor, self-disgust, disrepute, self-reproach. 

It's easy, when I think about my drinking self, to feel these emotions.  How could you, I ask myself when my disease is speaking to me. 
In early recovery I learned that I needed to reconcile the things that made me feel shame in order to heal.  Memories, feelings, actions, behaviors that made me feel shameful led me right back to a drink as I struggled to get sober.  Lean into them, I was taught.  Feelings aren't facts. 
I learned about the difference between shame and guilt.  Guilt is feeling badly about something you did, shame is feeling badly about who you are.  I did a bad thing versus I am a bad person.  

The antonyms to shame are these:  esteem, honor, respect, pride.

That last one hits me hard.  Isn't pride bad?  Doesn't it smack of ego? 

Back to Google, The Oracle of all Things, and it tells me these are synonyms for pride:  self-confidence, self-respect, dignity, delight, joy, satisfaction. 
I feel all of those things today, and I felt exactly none of them when I was drinking.   

For years I wrote in excruciating detail about my addiction; I painted a colorful picture of what it felt like to be an active alcoholic.  But I didn't write much about what it is like to be a recovering person, because that felt prideful, and I assumed that was inherently bad.

Lately I have felt frozen when it comes to writing about addiction, and it took me a while to figure out why.... and the answer makes me twitch a little.  I don't want to write about alcoholism anymore.  I want to write about recovery.  It makes me twitch because I am afraid of pride.  I was taught pride = ego, and ego will lead me back to a drink.

I have learned that pride and ego are not synonymous, and feeling proud of my recovery is a better antidote to wanting to drink than anything else I have found. 

My life today surpasses my wildest dreams, but I don't know how to write about that.

So let me show you a picture instead:


This is me, with my best friend of 35 years, Amanda.  Drinking was all fun and games back then, but seeing this picture makes me want to scream at them to STOP.   But we didn't stop.  We kept right on going until alcohol brought us both to our knees, twenty plus years later.

I found this picture recently, as I was clearing out my digital photo file. Immediately, I felt that stone in my belly.  Oh God, I thought.  We could have avoided so much pain, if only we knew then what we know now.

But, of course, life doesn't work that way.  We rarely learn the hard life lessons the easy way.  Every moment - every shameful moment, every regrettable decision, every bit of denial and secrecy, led me to where I am today.  

I stared at this picture and told those girls that I loved them.  My shame voice lost confidence, and another voice took its place:  who would have thought, it said, that you are looking at women who would grow up to be sober women of dignity and honor (both synonyms for pride).  Who would have thought we'd run a non-profit together, and make it our life's mission to break the stigma of addiction and celebrate recovery from the rooftops. 

I am proud of my recovery. Not in the I'm-better-than-you sense, but in the I-overcame sense.  I don't feel shame about being in recovery from cancer.  And I don't feel shame for being in recovery from alcoholism, either. 

For years, when I said I was an alcoholic in recovery, the subtitles in my head thought: I'm admitting to a weakness, I'm revealing that I used to drink a shameful amount.   But recovery is all about moving forward. Now, when I say I'm in recovery, there are no subtitles.  There is no shame.  

Here we are today; this picture was taken at Amanda's three year recovery anniversary:


The antidote to shame is pride. It is action, involvement in your recovery.  We found honor, self-confidence, joy and delight in being women in recovery.

And we aren't going to keep it to ourselves.

~~~~~~~~

Shining Strong is proud to announce the opening of our new Shopify store!   Amanda and I have both been wearing our "I Am Not An Anonymous Person" T-shirts, and have been asked again and again, "how can I get one?"   We are so proud to be part of recovery advocacy with The Anonymous People and are excited to offer the official Anonymous People T-shirt in our new store!  All proceeds go to help Shining Strong and our advocacy and outreach in the recovery community, including our websites The Bubble Hour and Crying Out Now.  If you want to join us in breaking down the stigma of recovery and proudly wear one of these T-shirts, head on over and purchase one for $15!  Click HERE to go directly to the listing in our shop.



You can find other Shining Strong goodies there, too - a tote bag and coffee mug for starters (more to come), and you can purchase a copy of my book Let Me Get This Straight there, too. Again, all proceeds go directly to Shining Strong.

We appreciate your help, your advocacy and your support.  Thank you.
  

16 comments:

  1. I struggled with this for a long time - I really believe in the saying that we're egomaniacs with inferiority complexes. :)

    What has helped me is the concept of keeping my ego, and myself, "right-sized". Am I the worst at being a mom/my job/etc? No. Am I the best? No. I'm in the middle, and right where I'm supposed to be. I find I have to remind myself of that a little less than I used to, but it's still there. It probably always will be.

    I also check my motives A LOT. That helps.

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  2. I was recently going through my journals from 20 years ago and wishing I could have spared 20 year old me from the years ahead of pain. Not from drinking, but the after affects of my father's drinking. I went to a few al-anon meetings back then, but the people were older and I was afraid of being "like them" (which was probably just "in their 40's with the stress of life" and not "utter basket cases" like I thought back then.) My therapist recently suggested that I go back to the adult child meetings. I got scared (I have to talk about my feelings more??) and then realized, hey, I want to recover, too. I don't want to look back in 20 more years and realize I just kept doing the same thing over and over. So, I put a meeting on my calendar for Sunday night. Worst case is I walk in and vomit all over my shoes from nerves, or cry when I try to speak. And I can deal with that. Because the real worst case would be to not try it at all.

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  3. I think the English language has failed us here. There ought to be two different words for "pride." The kind you are experiencing, which "makes me proud" of you, and the bad or sinful pride of someone who is self-inflated, arrogant, full of themselves at the expense of everyone else. Perhaps the same could be said for the term "self-love." There is the self- respecting, self-confident, and self-nurturing kind of self-love, and then there is the selfish self-centered kind of self-love. Ellie, your "pride" and "self-love" are infused with humility and compassion, and that is what gives you depth and makes you shine. (As for the other kind of pride and self-love, aren't those folks often shallow and easy to spot? Scratch the surface, and that "outward" glitter gives way to their true colors.) Ellie, your joy is contagious! I'm so happy for you and I so enjoy following your journey as you keep growing and reaching out to help others. I know your vision is primarily aimed at women in recovery, but I am blessed by it as well. May your shopify store be a shopify success!

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  4. I heard so many things about DR EZIZA. and every story has been so great. so here is my story, me and the father of my son has been off and on for 3 years its been a very stressful relationship. he cheated on me and I was very hurt, it was miserable for me so in returned I cheated because I wanted him to feel the pain but he never cares so we went apart,he went back to his ex.i wanted him to leave her and let us come back together, I love him so much and I just want him to feel the same way i feel for him, lucky for me DR EZIZA was the one who brought my lover back to me, he is a good spell caster. his contact address is ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com or +2348058176289 you can still save your marriage if u really love your husband

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  5. GREAT MAN WHO HELP ME GET MY EX HUSBAND BACK


    I never use to believe in spell casting until i met Dr wellborn a powerful spell caster who helped me to be a happy person again. My name is Sandra martins and i reside in CANADA. After 3 years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with three kids. I felt like my life was about to end and i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to a Great spell caster called Dr wellborn which i met online on one faithful day when I was browsing CANADA Athrough the internet, i came across a lot of testimonies about this particular Great spell caster how he has helped so many people. he has helped people to bring back their Ex lover, some testified that he restores womb, cure cancer and other sickness, and so on. I also came across a testimony, it was about a woman called Amanda, she testified about how his spell made her to be pregnant after so many years of bareness and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr wellborn email address. After reading all these, i decided to give it a try and i contacted him and explained my problem to him and he assured me that in less than 48 hours, my husband will call me and beg for forgiveness but i thought it will not work. When he had finished casting the spell, the next day my husband called me and he was begging for forgiveness just as Dr wellborn said. This is not brain washing and after the spell has been cast, i realized that my husband love me like never before and the spell caster opened him up to know how much i love him and how much love we need to share. We are even happier now than before. Dr wellborn is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and a genuine spell caster to solve all your problems contact Dr wellborn now on wellbornspelltemple@gmail.com he will help you solve your problems. Once again thank you Dr wellborn for your good deeds.


    Sandra martins _CANADA




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  6. It was a complete sudden stop in my life when my relationship with my lover came to a verge of breakup point without any reason and she said that she has fallen for someone else, it was Dr. Eziza who helped me get back my lover with a love spell and now we are happily married, thanks a lot Dr. Eziza. If you need his help to restore your relationship back, you can contact him viaezizaoguntemple@gmail.com And +2348058176289

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  7. BE CAREFUL HERE NOBODY CAN HELP YOU HERE OR EVEN SUGGEST HOW YOU CAN GET YOUR EX OR LOVE BACK,ANY TESTIMONIES OF MOST SPELL CASTER HERE MUST BE IGNORE.BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE SCAM I MEAN REAL SCAM WHICH I WAS A VICTIM AND I GOT RIPPED OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS BECAUSE I WAS SO ANXIOUS TO GET MY WIFE BACK AFTER SHE LEFT ME FOR OVER 2 YEARS WITH MY 7 YEARS OLD SON JERRY,I HAVE APPLIED TO 7 DIFFERENT SPELL CASTER HERE AND ALL TO NO AVAIL THEY ALL ASK FOR SAME THING SEND YOUR NAME YOUR EX NAME ADDRESS AND PICTURE PHONE NUMBER ETC WHICH I DID OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND MOST OF THEM WERE FROM WEST AFRICA UNTIL ISAW A POST ABOUT MAMA ANITA SPELL AND I DECIDED TO GAVE HER MY LAST TRAIL.SHE ASK ME FOUR THINGS MY REAL NAME,MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND $180 AND SAID MY EX WILL COME BACK IN 24HOURS, I HAVE PAID OVER $3000 ON SPELL CASTING AND COURIER AND NOTHING HAVE WORK FOR ME AFTER 3 DAYS I WAS THINKING ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE LOST SO FAR SO I SAID LET ME GIVE HER A TRY SO I CALLED HER AGAIN AND SEND MY REAL NAME,MY EX AND MY EX MOTHER NAME AND THE $180 BECAUSE I SWEAR IT WAS MY LAST TRY SO I WAS WAITING AS SHE TOLD ME TO WAIT TILL NEXT DAY AND I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT BECAUSE I REALLY LOVE MY WIFE AND WANT HER BACK AT 9PM THAT DAY I SAW MY WIFE ON LINE ON FACE BOOK AND SHE SAID HI AT FIRST I WAS SHOCK BECAUSE SHE NEVER TALK WITH ME FOR THE PAST A YEAR AND 9 MONTH NOW I DID NOT REPLY AGAIN SHE SAID ARE YOU THERE? I QUICKLY REPLY YES AND SHE SAID CAN WE SEE TOMORROW I SAID YES AND SHE WENT OFF-LINE I WAS CONFUSED I TRY TO CHAT HER AGAIN BUT SHE WAS NO MORE ON LINE I COULD NOT SLEEP THAT NIGHT AS I WAS WONDERING WHAT SHE IS GOING TO SAY, BY 7.AM THE NEXT MORNING SHE GAVE ME A MISS CALL I DECIDED NOT TO CALL BACK AS I WAS STILL ON SHOCK AGAIN SHE CALL AND I PICK SHE SAID CAN WE SEE AFTER WORK TODAY I SAID YES SO SHE END THE CALL IMMEDIATELY I GOT OFF WORK SHE CALL ME AND WE MEET AND NOW WE ARE BACK AGAIN I CALL MAMA ANITA THE NEXT DAY THANKING HER FOR WHAT SHE HAS DONE IN FACT I STILL CALL HER AND THANK HER AS MY LIFE WAS NOT COMPLETE WITHOUT MY WIFE PLEASE BE CAREFUL HERE I HAVE BEEN SCAM THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IF YOU WANT A TRUE LOVE SPELL THEN CONTACT MAMA ANITA (mama.anitatruelovespell@gmail.com)

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  8. MY NAME IS JANICES WALLOCKS FROM HOUSTON,TEXAS.I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS OR MAGIC UNTIL I MET THIS SPELL CASTER ONCE WHEN I WENT TO AFRICA IN DECEMBER LAST YEAR ON A BUSINESS SUMMIT. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE'S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER LOOKING FOR SOME ONE TO LOVE YOU, BRING BACK LOST MONEY AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I'M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE MAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS... I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD sheWHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO TEXAS, MY BOYFRIEND (NOW HUSBAND) CALLED ME BY HIMSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND HE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY BOYFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED sheTO DO... WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY HUSBAND ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS WEBSITE ADDRESS IS:, http://drossolution.webs.com/ or Email: Drossuva@gmail.com


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  9. My name is Mrs. Caroline Smith,From Uk ,and I’m happily married with a lovely husband and three children.I had a very big problem with my husband few months ago,to the extent that he even packed his things away from our house. He left I and and my kids for almost 5 months,and i tried all my possible best and effort to bring him back.I discussed it with a very good friend of mine,and he gave me an advice concerning a spell caster, that he is the only one that can handle my situations and problem,that he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spell casting and helping of the needy, Pls every every one i would like you all to contact him with his email address,which is as follows.Email:.aduduspellcaster@gmail.com I never believed in spell casting,but My friend convinced me and i had no choice than to follow my friend advice,because i never dreamed of loosing my lovely Husband. And i contacted him with his email address,and i discussed with him all my problems and worries and so surprisingly,he told me that I’ll get my husband back a day after. I didn't believed Him, until when i got home,the next day,my husband called me to inform me that he is coming back home…..So Amazing!! That’s how i got my back through spell casting and our relationship was stronger than ever. One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to the people around me that problems like this,can always be solved by Dr.adudu. So! my advice to you out there is to visit this same E-mail address,and tell him your problems too,if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back pls Contact him and have a happy life. you can contact him via Email aduduspellcaster@gmail.com

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  10. Three weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me. it all started when i Travel to UK to spend my holiday with my friend,i was trying to contact him but it was not going through. So when i came back from UK i saw him with a lady kissing, i was frustrated and it gives me sleepless night. I called my friend told her what happened and she introduce me to a spell cater who helped her long time ago. Which i contact him and i never believed that the spell will work so easily because i have contacted many spell casters to get him back all they do is to take my money with no result. I am happy to tell you all that my boyfriend is back and committed to me alone and he do whatever i ask him to do with love and care. All thanks to SHAKES SPEAR the great magician who helped me to restore my boy friend to me: shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com.. Email this powerful and authentic spell caster via email now shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com

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  11. I am DR SHAKES SPEAR, I welcome you all to my world of spiritual temple of solution i want to assure you that what so ever you contacted me for will come to pass with the powers of my ancestors. i want to let you know that i am here to help you in any problem you might be facing, i have been in the field of helping people for over 55years now, i want to let you know that i have helped solving over 7000 people with so many problems in different countries and they have never stopped calling me to thank me for the good work i have done for them. My good work has spread to so many countries, why, is because they have seen my good work and they helped me spread it all over to the whole world. I want to let you know that the moment you contact me just consider all your problems solved because i know that once i commence on your spell work you are going to testify to the whole world here,Email me via address.( shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com )

    Are you passing through any of these problems,

    DO YOU NEED YOUR EX BACK VERY FAST

    DON YOU WANT YOUR LOVER TO LOVE YOU AS NEVER LIKE BEFORE

    ARE YOU SUFFERING FROM A LONG TIME SICKNESS

    ARE YOU FACING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS

    ARE YOU SEEKING FOR A GOOD JOB

    DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A HOUSE OWNER

    ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FIRST CLASS GRADE

    DO YOU WANT TO COME OUT FIRST IN YOUR EXAMS

    ARE YOU A STAR AND YOU WANT TO BE SO POPULAR TO THE WHOLE WORLD

    DO YOU WANT TO BE RICH

    DO YOU WANT YOUR BUSINESS TO KEEP MOVING

    DO YOU HAVE A COMPANY OF ANY KIND AND YOU WANT IT TO EXPAND

    DO YOU WANT YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE TO KEEP TO YOUR WORLD

    ARE YOU FACING ANY MARITAL PROBLEMS

    ARE YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO GET PREGNANT FOR YOUR HUSBAND

    ARE YOU EXPERIENCING MISCARRIAGES ANY TIME YOU TAKE IN

    DO YOU WANT TO COMPETE IN ANY LOTTERY GAME

    ARE YOU FACING HARDSHIP

    HAVE YOU BEEN THREATENED BY SOMEONE

    DO YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL IN ANY THING YOU LAY YOUR HANDS ON

    IS YOUR SON OR DAUGHTER BEHAVING STRANGELY

    ARE YOU FACING WITCH CRAFT MANIPULATIONS

    DO YOU WANT TO CAST A STRONG LOVE SPELL ON YOUR GIRL OR BOY FRIEND

    DO YOU NEED MAGIC POWERS TO DO ANY THING YOU WANT

    ARE YOU FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO CHOOSE A LIFE PARTNER

    DO YOU WANT YOUR PARENTS TO BE PROUD OF YOU

    ARE YOU EXPERIENCING FAILURE AND DISAPPOINTMENT IN ANY THING YOU DO.(ETC)


    If you are facing any of these problems all you just need do is to contact via email (shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com )and it will be handle with full force and with my oracle and ancestors beside me i want to make you testify just the same way other people did that i have helped. Do not die in pain and silence email me so that your problems will be solved by me with full speed.I want welcome you again to my spell temple.If you have any problem that you want my help for just email me and immediately it will be solved. Here is my email address(shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com )

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  12. My wife has been suffering from thyroid cancer which was confirmed to be stage four, the doctor told me there was little he could do since she wasn’t responding to treatment but a friend of mine came to our rescue by ordering this cannabis oil from Shakes Spear which he said has been helping some patient fight against cancer of various types so we decided to give eit a chance, so far my wife is improving perfectly very well and presently she can walk around the house all by herself. I felt its necessary i let others who are suffering from this acute disease that once you have a good cannabis oil it can really give one a sound second chance of living. by chance if you happen to be in need of this cannabis oil you can contact Shakes Spear who supplied I and my wife with this email: shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com

    HE FIX THE FOLLOWING PROBLEMS TO ALL
    ACROSS THE GLOBE ON:
    1. Getting your lover or husband back
    2. Spiritual bulletproof
    3. Training
    4. Money spell
    5. Long life spell
    6. Prosperity spell
    7. Protection spell
    8. Get a job spell
    9. Becoming a manager spell
    10. Get a huge loan without paying any fee spell
    11. Getting your scam money back
    12. Child spell
    13. Pregnancy spell
    14. Freedom spell
    15. Love spell
    16, vanishing spell
    17. Invisible human spell
    18. Success or pass spell
    19. Marriage spell
    20. Avenging spell
    21. Popularity spell
    22. Killing spell
    23. Cancer spell
    24. Supernatural power spell
    25. Madness spell
    26. Free house loan spell
    27. Production spell of films and movie
    28. Hiv/aids spell
    29. Tuberculosis spell
    30. Loose weight and body spell

    contact me of any of these problem as I got solution to all... MY EMAIL ADDRESS IS:shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com

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  13. Good day.Compliments of the season to you all out there.. I am so full with joy as i write this post right now.. i really have had an en counted with a real spell caster who is so true with is word and he does what he says he will do. He is the realest of all spell casters out there.. so genuine and true. I want to thank High priest ozigididon for all he had done for me within the short time i met him.. he has really made my end of year a memorable one and has made me know that there is still hope. Thank you once again for bring back my lost love and making my life sweet and better.. I am so happy for the divine turn around he brought to my life. friends out there.. search no further for fake and scam spell caster, the real one is highpriestoziigididon@gmail.com and his name is High priest ozigididon, Contact him today and share your problems with him and i am so optimistic there will be a solution to that problem when been brought to High priest ozigididon. highpriestozigididon@gmail.com

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  14. My wife has been suffering from thyroid cancer which was confirmed to be stage four, the doctor told me there was little he could do since she wasn’t responding to treatment but a friend of mine came to our rescue by ordering this cannabis oil from Shakes Spear which he said has been helping some patient fight against cancer of various types so we decided to give it a chance, so far my wife is improving perfectly very well and presently she can walk around the house all by herself. I felt its necessary i let others who are suffering from this acute disease that once you have a good cannabis oil it can really give one a sound second chance of living. by
    chance if you happen to be in need of this cannabis oil you can contact Shakes Spear who supplied I and my wife with this email: shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com

    HE FIX THE FOLLOWING PROBLEMS TO ALL
    ACROSS THE GLOBE ON:
    1. Getting your lover or husband back
    2. Spiritual bulletproof
    3. Training
    4. Money spell
    5. Long life spell
    6. Prosperity spell
    7. Protection spell
    8. Get a job spell
    9. Becoming a manager spell
    10. Get a huge loan without paying any fee spell
    11. Getting your scam money back
    12. Child spell
    13. Pregnancy spell
    14. Freedom spell
    15. Love spell
    16, vanishing spell
    17. Invisible human spell
    18. Success or pass spell
    19. Marriage spell
    20. Avenging spell
    21. Popularity spell
    22. Killing spell
    23. Cancer spell
    24. Supernatural power spell
    25. Madness spell
    26. Free house loan spell
    27. Production spell of films and movie
    28. Hiv/aids spell
    29. Tuberculosis spell
    30. Loose weight and body spell

    contact me of any of these problem as I got solution to all... MY EMAIL ADDRESS IS:shakesspear23@yahoo.com OR shakesspear23@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hello my good people, i want to let you know that there are so many scam in the net, so you have to be careful, with the spell caster you contact okay, My name is Linda marian from USA I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is still unbelievable to me until now. I had a problem with my husband 4years ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, I was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine called sandy told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem, his name is Dr AJACAS. she tell me so much about the Dr that help her, and i all so email Dr AJACAS the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he ask me to do, and he told me that i should not worry my self that it will only take one day for he to cast the spell that will bring he back, Before i knew what was happening my husband look for my number and called me and told me that he was coming back to me in 2days and i was so happy to have him back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy. Thanks to Dr AJACAS for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work sir, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is (ajacastruelovespell@gmail.com) you are the best among all the spell caster online I hope you see my testimonies and also pray for my family too.(ajacastruelovespell@gmail.com)

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  16. My Name is Mrs Blessing Silver am from UK..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i contacted this man called .Dr SAMBOLA. me and my husband going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when my husband came back from work he tender to me a divorce letter and he packed all my properties away from is house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have him back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 5years.So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for his full name and his picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution.so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that him with a woman and that woman is the reason why he left me.The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring him back.but i never believe all this.he told me i will see a positive result within 24 hour..24 hour later after the spell has been cast,him called me himself and came to me apologizing and him told me he will come back to me..I cant believe this,it was like a dream cos i never believe this will work out after trying many spell casters and there is no solution..The spell caster is so powerful and after that he helped me with a pregnancy spell and i got pregnant again ..we are now happy been together again and with lovely kids..This spell caster has really changed my life and i will forever be thankful to him..he has helped many friends too with similar problem and they are happy and thankful to him..This Dr SAMBOLA is indeed the most powerful spell caster have ever experienced in life..Am Posting this to the Forum in case there is anyone who has similar problem and still looking for a way out.
    1. Get your scam money back
    2. Bring back lost lover, even if lost for a long time
    3. Remove bad spells from homes, business & customer attraction etc.
    4. Get promotion you have desired for a long time at work or in your career.
    5. Read all your problems before you even mention them to him
    6. Remove the black spot that keeps on taking your money away
    7. Find out why you are not progressing in life and the solution
    8. Eliminate in family fights
    9. Ensure excellent school grades even for children with mental disabilities
    10. Stop your marriage or relationship from breaking apart
    11. I destroy and can send back the Nikolos if requested
    12. heal barrenness in women and disturbing menstruation
    13. Get you marriage to the lover of your choice
    14. Guarantee you win the troubling court cases & divorce no matter how what stage
    15. Ensure success in work and business
    16. Mental illness & bewitched
    17. Can?t sleep at night or walking at night
    18. Recover stolen property and whereabouts of people that hurt you.
    19. Bring supernatural luck into your life
    20. Pregnancy spell to conceive baby
    21.if you HAVE HIV AIDS, DR SAMBOLA CAN HELP YOU CURE IT.
    you can reach him here.greatsambolaspiritualtemple@gmail.com This is what i want to tell you all out there,That is thinking that all hope is lost ..Thanks to you Dr SAMBOLA.

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