Just to put things in perspective, I googled "what weighs 50 lbs?"
I have lost the equivalent of:
* a large bag of dog kibble
* six gallons of water
* an average second grader
* one bale of hay
* an elephant's heart
* one medium sized dog
* six human heads
* four average sized two year olds
* four bald eagles
* two and a half automobile tires* fifty guinea pigs
To celebrate, I went out and bought a little black dress. We were shopping for the kids' back-to-school clothes, and my eye landed on a cute form fitting dress - the kind I wouldn't have given a second thought to before - and on a whim I grabbed it as we headed to the fitting rooms to try on the kids' clothes.
Standing in the family dressing room with Greta and Finn, I slid the dress over my head. Greta's eyes got wide, and she said, "Wow, Mom. Just - WOW."
Finn shook his head solemnly, and said "Nope. No way. Too sexy."
That sealed the deal. I was so excited to fit into the dress I didn't have time to ponder where my 4 year old learned the word 'sexy'.
I'm almost at my goal weight. Four and a half months ago, I began this journey, not really believing I could lose over 50 lbs, but determined to give it a try. I'm amazed - truly - at my new shape. I weigh what I weighed in my early 20s (although not everything is where it was twenty years ago - some things are, shall we say, lower).
I have lost 50 lbs, but it is what I have gained that matters:
* the ability to shop for clothes because I like them, not just because they fit
* more energy* no aching back muscles, and knees that don't creak in the morning
* I can run. Run!
* lower blood pressure
* the ability to accessorize with belts
* getting dressed in the morning without a pit in my stomach
* no fear of mirrors
* wanting to appear in family pictures
* a better understanding of myself, my thoughts patterns, my habits
The best part, I think, is that it doesn't feel like a diet anymore. Life doesn't feel full of the things I can't have, it's just a matter of making lots of right choices throughout the day. I still eat some of the Jenny Craig food - but for the most part I'm managing it on my own now. I don't really have cravings; and when I do they pass quickly. It's just not worth it. It feels like this new way of eating has woven its way into the fabric of my consciousness, so it isn't about deprivation, it's just about living life.
I think back to April, when this all began. How impossibly far away my goal weight seemed. But it's only four and a half months, or 135 days. And I take it one day at a time - sound familiar? Just like with sobriety, I don't think about tomorrow (will I make it? will I keep the weight off?) or yesterday (I lost two pounds last week, how come I didn't lose any this week?) I focus on the next right choice. And if I slip? It's gone, history, nothing I can do about it now. On to the next choice, the next decision.
Fifty is a lot of guinea pigs. Good riddance, I say.
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