I realized this morning, as I struggled to pick up Finn, that he weighs 42 lbs. I have lost 42 lbs.
Just for kicks I walked around with him on my hip for about five minutes. It doesn't seem possible to me that I had this much extra weight on my frame.
Eating healthy has woven its way into my life in such a way that I don't notice, really, that I'm dieting. Part of that is Jenny Craig - the meal plans make it so I don't have to think about it too much.
I'm at the point where I'm weaning off their food, substituting more and more meals each week with my own creations. I thought this would be more difficult than it is. Maybe because it is summer, and grilled veggies, chicken breast, or a veggie burger are easy to do. I just throw my food on the grill next to the hamburgers, sausage and hot dogs my family is eating.
I never understood this before, but I unconsciously ate in response to moods. Boredom was a big one for me. Anger was another one. Now I have a little test I give myself when I'm tempted to snack. If I'm really hungry I'll eat the carrot sticks, or the piece of fruit. If I don't want those things, but rather something to fill an emotional need, then I need to do something else to address how I'm feeling.
Eating healthy, losing weight, isn't a state of deprivation. It's a state of mind. Instead of dwelling on all the things I can't eat, I try to focus on all the possibilities, the freedoms, I have now that I didn't before. Like picking out an outfit because I like it, not simply because it fits. Or running a 5k. Or waking up in the morning without an aching back and creaking knees.
I also realize, now, how much the mental game comes into play. I don't weigh myself during the week, only at my weekly Jenny Craig appointment. Last Wednesday I went in feeling like I was having a 'fat day'. I was convinced I had gained weight, and prepared myself mentally. I was completely wrong. I was down another two pounds. Other times I'll think I've lost more than usual, only to find out I haven't.
It proves to me once and for all that much of what my brain tells me is complete bullshit.
I'm within 15 lbs of my goal weight. And when I get there?
I will have lost the equivalent of my 7 year old.